Funny Would You Rather

Ninety-nine funny would you rather questions, two options each, and no way to skip: this is the comedy edition of the game. The rule fits in one sentence. Read two absurd situations, vote for the one you would rather live with, and instantly see the percentage of players who chose like you. Sounds easy until you have to pick between fighting one horse-sized duck once a year and facing a hundred duck-sized horses.

This pack is a love letter to everyday chaos. The wired earphones that knot themselves in your pocket, the sock that vanishes in every wash and is never found again, the charger cable that is always four inches too short to reach the bed, the favorite song you only ever catch the last thirty seconds of. Every question was written with the same standard: two options with an equal price, no obvious answer, and one precise detail that makes you smile before you even vote. If you find yourself stuck between coughing like an old tractor and snoring like a chainsaw, everything is working as intended.

The funniest would you rather game to start right now

Nothing to install, nothing to explain: open the page, vote, watch the percentages roll in. It is the perfect party engine. Read the questions out loud, make everyone commit, then compare with the rest of the world. The most heated debates are never about the big stuff: they are about clothes that are slightly too small versus clothes that are three sizes too big. It also doubles as a funny this or that for family night, because kids answer these with zero hesitation, and their choices say a lot.

Solo, the pack works like a personality test that refuses to take itself seriously. No score, no timer: your instinct against everyone else's. Every vote counts and every percentage moves. Finding out you are in the 12 percent who would rather say I love you in a GPS voice teaches you something no serious questionnaire ever could. Whether you came for fun would you rather questions, crazy would you rather questions or the silly kind, they all end up in the same place: someone at the table yelling how could you pick that.

And behind the laughs, there is a real mirror. Choosing to always arrive ten minutes early and wait over always arriving exactly on time but out of breath is a whole attitude toward time. Preferring to be always right but never believed over always wrong with total confidence is basically philosophy. The game never judges: it shows you a number, and that number starts the best conversations. That is also what makes the pack endlessly replayable: a 90 to 10 question gets one laugh, a 51 to 49 deadlock fuels a whole evening, and you come back next week to check whether your side finally pulled ahead.

How to get the most out of the 99 questions

Start with the everyday curses if you want instant screams of recognition, save the useless superpowers to launch debates, and keep the social dilemmas for the end, the ones that ruffle feathers gently. The pack never plays the same way twice: votes shift daily, and today's answer might betray you at the next party. The full set of funny would you rather questions is right below: pick one, vote, and may the best side win.

99 funny would you rather questions

• Have hands instead of feet or have feet instead of hands?
• Have little sausages for fingers, out there for everyone to see all day long or have pickles for toes, hidden in your shoes, but everyone can smell them?
• Have one big, proud unibrow or have no eyebrows at all, ever again?
• Have your hair grow three feet every night or have your nails grow half an inch every hour?
• Have hair that changes color with your mood, for everyone to see or have your nose grow an inch for an hour every time you lie?
• Sweat mayonnaise at the slightest heat, even on a café terrace or cry salad dressing at the slightest emotion, even during a commercial?
• Cough like an old tractor or snore like a chainsaw?
• Have farts that smell like lavender but can be heard from the street or have perfectly silent farts that smell the usual way?
• Always sneeze twelve times in a row or stay stuck on the edge of a sneeze that never comes?
• Only ever whisper, even to warn people of danger or only ever shout, even to say sweet nothings?
• Sing everything you say like an opera singer or salsa-dance everywhere you go?
• Have a movie-trailer voice, even when ordering a coffee or have a GPS voice, even when saying I love you?
• Fly, but only four inches off the ground and at shopping-cart speed or turn invisible, but only when nobody is looking at you?
• Understand pigeons, but they only talk about crumbs or talk to cats, but they only answer with sighs?
• Have a voice-over narrating your life, even when you fail to parallel park or have an invisible crowd chanting your name whenever you leave the bathroom?
• Fight one horse-sized duck once a year or fight a hundred duck-sized horses once a year?
• Read other people's minds, but only what they think about you or have everyone read your mind, but only what you think about them?
• Have a personal rain cloud one day a month or have a theater spotlight following you one day a month?
• Only wear clothes that are slightly too small or only wear clothes that are three sizes too big?
• Only move in slow motion, like a lifeguard on TV, even when you're late or only ever move at a run, even to get to the office bathroom?
• Walk six miles with a pebble in your shoe, without ever stopping or stop every five minutes to empty your shoe, and arrive two hours after everyone else?
• Pay everyone's bill every time, with nobody ever paying you back or forget your wallet every time, and let someone else pay while you smile awkwardly?
• Slip on an invisible banana peel once a week, always in public or get hit on the head by a stray ball once a day, even in meetings?
• A colleague who is always right, and corrects you out loud in front of everyone or a colleague who is often wrong, but always covers for you when you make a mistake?
• Only drink from tiny toy teacups or only eat with giant-sized cutlery?
• Always pick the slowest checkout line, in every store or have the light turn red the second you arrive, every time?
• Spend five minutes looking for your keys every morning or look for your glasses three times a day while they sit on your head?
• Chase the bus and miss it by one second, in front of the whole bus stop or catch the bus just in time, then hunt for your ticket for a full minute while everyone stares?
• Always forget the one item you actually went shopping for or always come home with three mystery items you don't remember picking up?
• Carry a fifteen-pound bag of just-in-case items everywhere, but never need to ask for anything or go out empty-handed and ask strangers for a tissue, a charger and a bandage every week?
• Have your shoelaces come undone every ten minutes or have an old tissue escape your pocket in front of everyone, once a day?
• Win every raffle, but everyone is convinced you're cheating or never win anything, but get other people's prizes out of pity?
• Know the lyrics to every song by heart, but sing terribly off-key or sing beautifully in tune, but make up all the words?
• Be the world champion of tic-tac-toe, belt and title included or be unbeatable at every game, but only one day a year, without knowing which?
• Dance incredibly well, but only to elevator music or dance like a goat, but with absolute confidence?
• Run faster than anyone, but only in pajamas or lift any weight, but only after giving the object a kiss?
• Always be right, but have nobody ever believe you or always be wrong, but with total confidence?
• Always have the perfect comeback, three hours too late or have an instant comeback that is always slightly insulting?
• Burst out laughing at your own jokes before telling them or tell excellent jokes but forget the punchline half the time?
• Applaud after every sentence you say or bow to every single person you pass?
• Permanently look like you're about to sneeze or permanently wear a used-car-salesman smile?
• Get the hiccups whenever someone says your name or yawn whenever someone looks you in the eye?
• Settle every disagreement by arm wrestling, even at the bank or settle every disagreement with rock-paper-scissors, even in court?
• Say goodbye, then stay stuck for five more minutes, every time or leave without ever saying goodbye?
• Start every conversation with two mandatory minutes about the weather or end every conversation with an inspirational quote?
• Have nobody ever pronounce your name right or have everyone convinced they've met you somewhere before?
• Have everyone believe it's your birthday, every single day or have nobody ever remember your actual birthday?
• Laugh out loud at every joke, even during a funeral or never be able to laugh, even when it's really funny, and come across as cold?
• Haggle over the price of bread like at a flea market, every time or pay for everything in small coins while the line sighs behind you?
• Cluck like a chicken whenever you're proud of yourself or do a little involuntary dance move whenever someone thanks you?
• Have a lookalike doing dumb stunts around town in your name or have a perfect lookalike that everyone likes better than you?
• Be full of energy at six in the morning but done by nine at night or be a wreck all morning but invincible at midnight?
• Have the same terrible song stuck in your head forever or get a different terrible song every morning, picked by the world's worst DJ?
• Know one single excellent joke that everyone has already heard or know a thousand terrible jokes that nobody has ever heard?
• Have your phone read one of your private messages out loud, once a month at random or have your search history displayed on a giant screen, once a year?
• Have your phone always ring at full volume, but only in silent places or have your wifi lag only when you're showing someone a video?
• Have everything you cook taste delicious, but leave your kitchen looking like a battlefield or have your kitchen stay spotless, but have everything you cook taste like cardboard?
• Have autocorrect quietly change one word in every message or have all your messages arrive ten minutes late?
• Only send four-minute voice messages or only ever reply with a thumbs-up?
• Make your bed with perfect corners every morning, even if you miss your bus or never make your bed, and sleep every night among yesterday's crumbs?
• A hairdresser who knows better than you, always gives you the same cut and never listens or a hairdresser who follows your instructions to the letter, even when you talk nonsense?
• Be allowed only one alarm, with no snooze button or set eight alarms and get up on the last one, more tired than before?
• A waiter who asks you after every bite whether everything is fine or a waiter who vanishes for an hour, then comes back to ask if everything was fine?
• Fall asleep on every ride longer than ten minutes, even standing up or only be able to sleep in your own bed?
• Move every six months, boxes and all, to a new city each time or live twenty years in the same place, with the same ceiling leak nobody fixes?
• Wait three minutes for hot water in the shower, every day or have someone flush the toilet during your shower, once a week?
• Drop the shampoo bottle on your little toe once a week or get shampoo in your eye once a day?
• Watch your dental work in close-up, live on a screen on the ceiling or never see your dental work, but hear the dentist whisper oops halfway through every time?
• Be in a family group chat that sends you three hundred notifications a day or stay out of the group chat and learn about every wedding and birth three weeks late?
• Have a dog that adores you unconditionally but demands a walk at six in the rain or have a cat that lets you sleep but makes you feel you're bothering it when you come home?
• Have your microwaved food come out burning outside and frozen in the middle or have to watch the plate spin until the beep, with no right to walk away?
• Host everyone at your place every Sunday, dishes included or have lunch at other people's homes every Sunday, bringing a homemade dessert everyone comments on?
• Have to speak up in every meeting, even when you have nothing to say or never be able to speak in meetings, and watch a colleague steal your good idea?
• Take a packed subway every morning, squeezed against strangers, but arrive dry and on time or cycle to work in the rain every morning, alone, and arrive soaked and on time?
• Have a friend who always tells you the truth, even about the sweater you just bought or have a friend who always says it's perfect, even with spinach in your teeth?
• Have your water bottle leak in your bag once a month, without warning or have your pen leak on your shirt once a month, always on an important day?
• Have an invisible mosquito in your room every summer night or have a fly that lands on your screen all year round?
• Have the elevator stop at every floor, every time you're in a hurry or ride the elevator every time with a neighbor who tells you their whole week in detail?
• Take all the group photos and appear in none of them or appear in every group photo, always caught mid-grimace?
• Be the sore loser at every game night, sulking for an hour after each defeat or be the distracted one at every game night, who makes the team lose and gets scolded?
• Forget where you parked, in every parking lot or find your car wedged between two badly parked vehicles, once a week?
• Have your grocery bag split ten steps from your door, when nobody can help you or have your grocery bag split at the checkout, with the whole line watching?
• Dress for summer and get rain, once a week or dress for rain and roast in the sun, once a week?
• Get a blister from every new pair of shoes on day one or have all your comfy old shoes wear through in the same month?
• Always arrive ten minutes early and wait or always arrive exactly on time, but out of breath?
• Have a neighbor who drills every Saturday at eight a.m. or have a neighbor who plays the recorder, but only one single song?
• Always have someone very tall in front of you at the movies or always have a loud popcorn eater right behind you?
• Have the delivery guy ring the second you step into the shower or have every package end up with your least friendly neighbor?
• Miss the call you waited for all morning because you were in the bathroom or sit through forty-five minutes of hold music, every single call?
• A dream weekend on a paradise island with your chattiest colleague or a rainy weekend at a campsite with your favorite person in the world?
• Mistake a stranger for an old friend every day and tell them about your week before realizing or walk past a real friend every day without recognizing them, and see them take offense?
• Skydive once a year, with no way to refuse or sing alone on stage in front of a hundred strangers once a year, with no way to refuse?
• Eat the same delicious dish for lunch every day for a year or eat a different dish for lunch every day, never knowing whether you'll like it?
• Lose one sock with every wash, never to be found again or lose every single sock you own at once, once a year?
• Have a charger cable that's always four inches too short to reach the bed or have a battery that shows ten percent more than it really has and dies without warning?
• Have wired earphones that knot themselves in your pocket or drop one wireless earbud a year into a storm drain?
• Have someone spoil the ending of every show before you finish it or systematically forget the ending of every show you ever loved?
• Wrap every gift like a four-year-old or spend twenty minutes scraping the price sticker off every present?
• Arrive at your destination right as your favorite song starts, every time or only ever catch the last thirty seconds of your favorite songs?